Well apparently he's into motor boating.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
