YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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