Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
