# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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