i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
