you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
