whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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