Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
