Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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