i wish my penis had a tongue
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
