You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
