great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
