I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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