I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're a waste of cheezeits
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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