Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
