We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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