This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
