thus making me awesome and them whores
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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