How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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