Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
