That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize