she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
this will be a night to untag.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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