That's intense
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
