we have officially lost it.
I hate all girls vehemently.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
