She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
