I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
