I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
