dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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