toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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