how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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