SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
