I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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