Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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