So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
