i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
