Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
