I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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