We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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