with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
