Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
