Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
