Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
