Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
