is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
