problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
