Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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