someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize