That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
