You just made me feel so damn special
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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