i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
