I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
