Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
50% drunk capacity currently
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
