Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
