apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
