i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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