and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There's always time for handjobs
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize