She is in my trunk
Yo dont text me then not text me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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