I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i now understand why vodka
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
