What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
