He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize