Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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