I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
